My Day Fishing

So I was asleep a couple nights ago and I started dreaming that I was in my backyard. I looked down and saw something I had never noticed before.

A trout stream. [ -- grins at camera knowingly -- ]

That's right, a trout stream in my own backyard! (Oh! Happy day!)

And right there near to where I was standing were about 6 little trout. So I did what any self respecting fishing enthusiast would do ... I re-prioritized my TODO list and put "Go fishing" right at the top.

I grabbed my rod and noticed that there was one trout that was a bit in front of the rest. I figured I'd try for him first.

Now, this being a dream 'n all, I figured that little 10 inch trout would probably go for a nice big Bass bait. So I T-rigged a great big plastic worm on some 12 pound test (which should be just enough for a 1/4 pound trout), and dropped that sucker right in front of his face.

!!! WHAM !!!!

He struck that worm with all the ferocity of an enraged butterfly and I hauled him out of 12 inches of water like a seasoned pro. [ -- you gotta love dreams -- ]

I was stoked. But much to my suprise as I lifted him out of the water he became larger and larger the further away from the water he got (like most fish stories, I guess), until I was holding a real trophy trout.

Immediately I went to work cleaning him. "We're going to feast tonight!" I thought to myself. I had that bad boy gutted and cleaned in no time and thought, "Hey, I should weigh him." [*note: you usually want to weigh them before you clean them] So I hung him on the scale, which I just happened to have right there with me, which is strange since I had only found out about the stream in my backyard about 5 minutes ago.

13.8 lbs!!! AWSOME!!! (wonder what he would've weighed prior to cleaning)

So I call to everyone in the house to come check out this trophy I just caught, except it's not my family in the house. It's all the employees from a Veterinary distribution company I used to work for. (What the....?)

The ladies come running out saying, "Ooooh, he's so cute!! I just want to hug him, and play with him, and..." blah blah blah....

That's a weird response to a trout!

Then I see one of the veterinarians there, and he says, "Well, it's a very nice specimen. However, I think that long incision all the way down it's belly is going to be a problem. It may lead to infection in the internal organs."

Huh? That's even more strange.

So I turn around to look at my new trophy, and there it is, hanging from the scale ... a fat, plump, happy, playful baby hippo.

????????

A hippo? I thought it was a trout!

Apparently, in my great enthusiasm I had failed to notice my error.

And not only that, but the hippo was cut wide open right down the belly and all of it's intestines were still inside (didn't I just take those out?).... and he was awake and playing with them!!!

Now I understand what the vet was talking about it!

Wait a minute.  How am I going to skin a hippo!?!? I guess I could start by cutting of those little ears and make "hippo cracklin's" or something.

[ -- weird enough for you yet? --]

The last thing I remember was grabbing my fish-cleaning knife and walking towards the hippo thinking, "I wonder if it's skin is like a catfish." Then, "In about 30 seconds these ladies are going to get real unhappy with me."

><)))>